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I had all these thoughts I couldn’t control, that I knew were wrong.Uncle Steve asked me about my sex life, and I was an open book. I told him all about Ricky, and how we had been sneaking around and exploring for some time. I told uncle Steve I was still a virgin, and he respected that. “Nothing wrong with waiting, Lacey girl. You have lots of time for boys and sex”. He said. "I can't wait to lose my virginity and fuck for real." I told him. "Ricky came close to popping my cherry, but I. Saying that it’s not my fault, looking at the facts none of it helps because I should have been better. I guess now would be when I tell you what’s not my fault and what a horrible human being I am. I didn’t even realize how horrible I was until a few moments ago when I realized I don’t really care that ther was a life lost to the world I only care that I lost someone that I loved. How selfish is that? It’s not my fault that Nikki’s in jail. It isn’t, she was the one who was under more stress. The woman made a sudden left hand turn and sped down a desolate dirt road, presumably a private drive, though unmarked by any sign on the street. In the distance, I could see an old farm house that looked like it was ripped right out of American Gothic, yet neglected for several decades. The car stopped near the front door. "Let's get her downstairs," said the woman. She got out of the car and walked around to the other side, then opened the passenger door. She carried a gun. "Come. ” “Yes it is.” Again, she shot me that small inscrutable smile. I asked her, “Would you like to move to a table? It’s quieter.” She sighed and acted annoyed, but half-heartedly said yes, and as she slipped off the barstool she let her dress catch on the edge so that it slid up to reveal the tops of her thigh highs. I caught her stealing a look at me, to see if I had noticed. We got a table in the corner. We made small talk. She had an elaborate fictional history of Joy’s life. She used to live.
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